Addicted to Yes? The Five Stages of Saying ‘No’
Starting a business often means saying "yes" to almost everything. Every opportunity, every meeting, every small job that comes your way feels essential. In those early days, you convince yourself, "It’s only temporary." But as the business grows, you need to learn the art of saying no strategically, refining your focus and conserving your energy for what truly matters. This journey involves more than just business decisions—it's also about prioritizing your own well-being.
As Warren Buffett famously said, “The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything.” The same rule applies as you progress through the stages of saying no.
Stage 1: Yes to Everything
In the beginning, saying "yes" is a survival strategy. Every opportunity holds potential for growth or connection. You feel you must take on every project, attend every event, and listen to every pitch. This is often necessary to get your footing, but it’s not sustainable long term.
Stage 2: No to Time Wasters
As you start to establish a reputation, you learn to identify and turn down obvious distractions—unnecessary meetings, unsolicited pitches, or networking events that don’t serve your business goals. This selectivity helps you reclaim time for higher-priority activities without completely closing yourself off to new connections. “Each time you say no to something unimportant, you say yes to something important.” – Steve Jobs
Stage 3: No to Non-Revenue Promotions
At this stage, you begin to prioritize activities that contribute directly to your top line. Promotional opportunities might still come your way, but you only say yes to those that have a high promise to generate income and cash flow. The rest? You learn to let go. By focusing your energy on revenue-generating activities, you create more space for growth.
Stage 4: No to Low-Profit Revenue
Your business is now established, and you’re shifting from pure revenue generation to profitability. Here, you begin turning down projects that generate revenue but don’t make a significant impact on the bottom line. You start honing in on high-value, high-impact activities, reducing stress and focusing on what truly builds long-term success.
Stage 5: Selective Opportunities Only
At this stage, you’ve mastered the art of strategic focus. Now, you’re saying yes only to the opportunities that align with your highest goals and long-term vision. “The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes,” said Tony Blair. Each opportunity is evaluated for its alignment with your growth trajectory, allowing you to conserve energy and resources for only the most impactful endeavours.
Personal Impact: The Power of Saying No in Life
As your business grows and you learn to say no along these five stages, there’s another area that deserves attention: your personal life. When starting out, many entrepreneurs adopt the mindset of saying yes to everything related to business and no to things that sustain them—family time, exercise, sleep, socializing, even diet. The logic goes, "It’s only temporary." But here’s the challenge: these sustaining activities are not optional.
Imagine you played a game with yourself. What if you said yes to everything business-related and in your personal life except for one thing? Let’s say that one thing is sleep. You might reason, as I (Peter) once did, "I’ll sleep when I’m dead."
In the short term, lack of sleep makes you less sharp. You might make poor decisions, and perhaps you’ll be irritable, which could strain relationships with family, friends, and even colleagues. You might feel emotionally drained, struggling to excel in other areas despite your best efforts.
In the medium term, the effects become more pronounced. Chronic sleep deprivation can lead to mental health issues, such as mood swings, depression, or even early signs of a personality disorder. It becomes harder to cope with the demands of a growing business and the challenges of life.
In the long term, as studies increasingly show, the consequences of sleep deprivation are severe. Lack of sleep is linked to a higher risk of Alzheimer’s and other neurodegenerative diseases. In short, sleep is not just a luxury—it’s a critical investment in your health, happiness, and ability to lead a thriving business.
The same holds true for other personal boundaries. Each time you say no to a business demand that infringes on family time, exercise, or social connections, you’re saying yes to sustaining your well-being. Just as saying no in business builds your company, saying no in life builds your resilience.
Learning to say no is a journey. It’s about recognizing that your time and energy are finite resources that should be invested where they bring the greatest return—both in business and in life. With each decision, remember that saying no strategically allows you to say yes to a healthier, more successful future.